Monday, December 8, 2008

Testify

So testimony meeting is always agonizing. Nobody actually testifies, they just get up there and give mini talks about stuff that happened to them. It's like show and tell. Most people just want to talk about shit in their life, and somehow tie it into the gospel. Many times people forget to tie it into the gospel at all. Many people just get up there and talk about how they love the ward so much, or how they love their family. Mel and I keep score: Team Jesus and Team Storytime. Team Storytime usually wins.

So yesterday was probably the absolute best example of what drives me nuts about testimony meeting. It went 15 minutes late, 4 people took at least 5 minutes, and only 3 people strictly bore testimony.

The best part was this huge old man, maybe 60 years old gets up there and just starts telling this story about when he was a young man, just out of the police academy. He had to make an arrest in a bar, and one of the bar patrons said, "You don't have to go with that pig." And he said to the congregation, "What would you do in this situation...I said, 'yes you do!'" He went on to tell us about the knock-down drag-out fight he had with this criminal. How his glasses got busted and he was bleeding all over the place, then he said a little prayer and the culprit promptly gave in.

He then said, "You can do anything. Never give up. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen." Melanie and I sat there with our mouths open. I was trying to stifle my laughter. THE NEXT 2 TESTIFIERS BOTH COMMENTED ON HOW GOOD HIS TESTIMONY WAS!??

I just can't believe people think they are actually edifying others when they make the meeting about themselves and not about Jesus. Also, I can't believe some people feel edified by this fluff. Honestly people, follow the example of the General Authorities. They've got way more to say than us, but they never go over time, and they never vary from strictly talking about the gospel when they testify.

Team Storytime : 14 Team Jesus : 3

3 comments:

Turbo said...

Hahahaha. Nice.

Reagan said...

Jake calls it "open mic night" for mormons.

Jeff and Becky said...

LMAO!!!! That is too damn funny. We had one lady that was talking about her silver fillings the dentist had done and how she was picking up radio stations